It started at various points. Some of it had to do with our fight. I guess maybe coming up with some kind of pathetic excuse involving me not being to blame for behaving in such an atrocious way. So a better start to this might be I still feel terrible about my behavior and mostly like I’m walking around in underwear that I took a shit in. It’s out of sight but painfully real, painfully still there. Parallel to that I have thoughts floating around that involve trying to put myself outside of it all and try tap more into the story of it or something, to not identify personally with it too much, that would be more or less where the teacher plant thoughts thing ended up before all this drama happened involving B and me.