Strong Medicine.

How are things otherwise? What’s there to see if the bright spotlight of observation is turned completely around, what’s there to see if it shines on me? Where do things sit psychedelics wise, how are things going between B and me? Strangely enough the last time I tried to achieve anything going under the influence was at the Garden of Eden. Yes. That place again. The last time we went there was when they had that event when the musicians did their thing at around midday instead of early evening. At that point I was wondering if the ‘shrooms were doing anything for me because sticking to a frequent microdose regime it’s hard to tell if they had any magic left in them, hard to tell if they were doing anything.

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Last Supper.

So what was this one about? I think it started with me feeling bad about something. Maybe the D@ thing (see “21 Jump Street“). We’ve invited him and T@ to supper before he leaves, sort of a farewell thing. From our side an attempt at just trying to show a little grace in this whole thing. I guess it doesn’t really have to do with him, who he is, how people feel. But mom doesn’t think it’s a good idea; there’s resistance coming from her about the idea. It’s been a while since someones said what I am or am not allowed to do. I’d have thought if it happened it would be about a couple of other things, but this? I said I’d leave it up to T@ to decide.

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“Just trying to figure shit out.”

Maybe. Things are speeding by like an engine in high rev but not in any gear. Stuff ain’t sticking. So much stuff, where to begin? More or less a continuation of where the last book ended. I’m wondering about the mushroom thing. Whether it has anything to do with this feeling, this racing mind. Suddenly meditation makes more sense. And in the background a question involving the difference between how this feels, and whether it’s normal, more normal? I mean, compared to whatever was before.

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