Tough Titty.

“On Sunday we had a little get together at The Garden of Eden.” A couple of us got to share a few words about mom. It’s probably a bit mean if I pick anything out from what got said and bitch about it. Let’s just say I was intrigued to hear G@ talk about her wanting […]

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Friend or Foe.

Mom’s been dead over two weeks now. On Sunday we had a little get together at the Garden of Eden. The idea was to plant a tree for her, and to scatter her ashes there, with the tree. What was meant to be scatter her ashes turned into wanting to keep her ashes in a […]

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Overactive Imagination.

“Mostly I don’t feel anything”. Well. That’s not entirely accurate. Sometimes I don’t feel anything. Sometimes I feel relief that she’s not around anymore; going through what she was going through. It couldn’t have been nice for her to be going through that. It wasn’t nice going through not knowing how to help her get […]

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Do I Want To Know?

On Sunday G@ let us know mom had slipped into some sort of semi-coma. That night, Monday morning around 2am, she passed away. I’d been working in the garden and decided not to spend any time with her, so the last time I saw her was a few days ago. Even then things didn’t seem […]

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A Slow, Gradual, Decline.

Three weeks later. A lot has happened. Nothing has happened. It occurs to me I might have made B sound like a bit of a bad guy in all this and that’s a little unfair. Very unfair. A lot of the rift between us about stuff could probably just be boiled down to a communication […]

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Brief Encounters.

About how stuff works that doesn’t involve the physical. And the more entheogenic ideas. And about not being able to claim any victories. The part I left out involves how stupid I feel about that. About how having said anything at all about that I feel like a complete idiot. And maybe if anyone is […]

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The Road.

It’s still a few days to go before mom goes to see a specialist. In the meantime she’s been to her normal doctor and he’s given her a script for (more) pain killers. The meds must be pretty strong considering how she’s looking; very frail. She has a ring-neck parrot, inherited from T!, one of […]

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Last Exit.

And then there was the dream. In it an ambulance was parked on the front lawn. It was dark, late at night and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I was desperate to find out and try to get from where I lay in a deep sleep to outside, go figure out what was […]

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Out of the Ashes.

Well. It led me back into the woods for a while back there. At that point all this stuff was going on in my head , a lot of this stuff that I wrote about in the last few pages. And in a way it makes a little sense putting it all down on paper […]

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