|At this point I’m about an hour in and David Bowie has ended and I’m not sure how it became an option I had a lot of stuff open on YouTube and one of the videos somewhere in there was for Ravi Shankar: ‘Chants of India’, the album that George Harrison produced. So I went with that I thought I remembered it from somewhere. It blew my mind. I hadn’t yet experienced any visual effects from the ‘shrooms by the end of Hunky Dory but not long into Ravi Shankar stuff on the screen started to slide around, move sideways or warp to a wave effect. I wondered whether it had taken listening to this music to get that to happen.|
|The impression I was getting was there was more to what I was listening to than it just being pleasant music. I could see how it was something that could open doors, or get you to this place or get used to have an effect in this space, there was little doubt about there being a whole lot more to it than whatever I thought or felt was there before. What added to the effect was an acute sense of familiarity, knowing that this stuff was deep inside us already from some previous point in time. I couldn’t take the deja-vu anymore and stopped the music somewhere around 25 minutes in, asked B if she’d heard this before, did she remember it at all?
Turns out the album has a chant on it that we learnt years ago. It’s called the freight train mantra because it is so long. It was the next track on the CD that came on when I resumed listening. If what I heard before had blown my mind then listening to this now was like the rest of me splitting up into smaller and smaller pieces that eventually got so small that they just drifted off into space. I had a particular kind of thing left to do at this point work wise and the number of processors came to 108. There’s a thing about how many times you recite a mantra when that is something you work with and using a mala to track that. The number of beads on a mala is the same as the amount of work I had left to do.
At the time in my head I was making quite a big deal of this coincidence. What I took away from this was the mantra we had used to work with from way back when has returned, that the time is right for me to start working with it again. It’s sort of a good fit because I don’t meditate, have felt like I should but never got started, and reciting a mantra daily will help me achieve that. Well, that’s the one part of it. There are other parts to it which will probably come to light eventually. Sort of something along the lines of what the point of doing a meditation is. Getting through the last of my work became a meditation, I used the 108 processes I had left to do similar to how you would use a mala. The processes substituted for beads…
The experience was difficult like how a meditation can be difficult, where you are faced with this or that distraction that makes you lose focus. Eventually I got through the last of my work and then we got ready for gym. Gym was awesome. I felt very strong and getting through my 50 minute workout wasn’t a problem. There was a moment or two I felt a little self-conscious or like I might be drawing attention to myself but the place was mostly quiet so things seemed to be going well for the most part. After my workout I had a shower and spent some time in the steam room and then I was done. We went to the shops and picked up some fruit and stuff and went back home. It’s 5 p.m. and things seem to be winding down.
I got the sense that I’d had quite a big trip, probably the biggest I’ve had in a very long time. Dose wise I’m guessing in the 3 to 4 gram range. I didn’t feel like I’d attached as much baggage as I might have before to doing something like this. No paranoia and high strange. Maybe doing it during the day and during a normal routine helped with that. At that level at a Psytrance party for example, at night, things might have gotten a bit too much to handle. A bit too weird. Having to deal with people.
This time the way it went I ended up feeling unsure about how you can feel like this isn’t something you should do, or that you should feel weary of doing it. This time it ended with me feeling like of course this is something very valuable, and should be done as often as possible. As for how often as often as possible is well, I’m not sure about that. I guess there are other things that weigh in on it so what might be good for someone might not be good for another. For me personally where I am at and what I want to achieve and how I am trying to achieve it, well, that seems to be the plan.
That seems to be a good plan; to try make this a regular thing along with all the other stuff that I want it to help me with. There’s a lot of stuff I’m talking about here that I haven’t got into detail about. There is a thing about Cactus going on, and that did feature in the trip. About a space you can access, call it a space that plant spirits and ancestors inhabit. Maybe it will all make a lot more sense a bit further down the line. I didn’t really get into one or two other things that are applicable here; how the experience was ritualized as much as I could or wanted to ritualize it.
Stuff like accidentally cutting my thumb with a scissor that I needed to clean dirt off the ‘shrooms with (I cleaned the scissor first and cut myself doing that). Consciously I took that as a sign, and attached meaning to it during the trip; it had something to do with Blood. Jesus. Sacrifice. I did offer up some of the ‘shrooms to the cactus growing outside, made an offering and asked for the spirit of San Pedro to protect and guide me. I did spend some time during the trip getting a feel for energies of the plants in our garden and communicating with them (and thinking / wishing I’d had more time to do that). After gym on the way home eating a cracker (biscuit) and attaching significance to that – closing the ceremony.