|How are things otherwise? What’s there to see if the bright spotlight of observation is turned completely around, what’s there to see if it shines on me? Where do things sit psychedelics wise, how are things going between B and me? Strangely enough the last time I tried to achieve anything going under the influence was at the Garden of Eden. Yes. That place again. The last time we went there was when they had that event when the musicians did their thing at around midday instead of early evening. At that point I was wondering if the ‘shrooms were doing anything for me because sticking to a frequent microdose regime it’s hard to tell if they had any magic left in them, hard to tell if they were doing anything.|
|So that day I upped the dose a bit, and I had abstained for a while beforehand in case my tolerance threshold had gotten too big which might explain what needed explaining but, I hardly felt anything. I’m not sure they are active at all anymore which left me wondering. Did I dry them out the right way? Did I store them right? Were they ever psychoactive? I didn’t really care. My attitude about the whole thing leaning towards blase. I’m not sure why. It’s not just the words that dried up once I quit coffee. Any steam I had going to pursue the psychedelics things dried out too.
At some point I thought I should try get more stock. Maybe if I have a fresh dose and take enough to actually feel something, then maybe I could reignite an interest. So I guess most recently I have been in the throes of that. That’s the space I inhabited. But organizing more stock seemed to be more trouble than it was worth. I wondered if instead of trying to put that together I should try out some Cactus instead. We have some San Pedro growing in the garden and it seems just about ready to offer up some of itself.
I also scratched around for a while on the internet for some inspiration, try to find something on using Teacher Plants in general but also specifically on San Pedro. Huachuma? Maybe having all that floating around in my head might explain a dream I had at around the same time. It’s the dream I’m trying to cling to as a way to navigate all this. As a reason why to navigate this at all to start with. The stuff on the net evoked some mixed reactions. It’s really hard to sit through what some people put together involving this stuff. A lot of the time I’m scratching my head feeling a little confused.
There’s a slight concern that perhaps there is something wrong with me that I can’t listen to it, can’t digest it, can’t accept it. That I resist it. There is stuff that doesn’t make sense. With a bit of effort it does seem possible to piece a bit of this and a bit of that to make some sense of it. It’s important to me that there is something beyond day-to-day reality that is going on here, something more than nothing. But it does seem like it can get a bit too exotic. That it is possible for someone to get a bit too carried away, like perhaps they just have a really active imagination. Might be an idea to explore what of that I have my doubts about. What of that makes a little sense. And it also might be an idea to touch on the nothing that something is more than.
What really got me worked up for a while was an experience or two I had on Facebook. In fact it happened 3 times; once in each of 3 different groups. The groups were the shroomery group, the ayahuasca group, and a group called Psychedelics and Philosophy. In the space of a month or so people other than me (and different to each other) brought the question up of whether eating meat was an issue that came to light during a psychedelic experience. I’m assuming the people that belong to each of the groups were either in relationship with ‘shrooms, ayahuasca or another psychedelic.
That might be question number one though, are they in relationship with either of these? What is the nature of that relationship? As it is on each occasion the thread devolved from my perspective into a quagmire of unintelligible muck. I guess it might have been a bit much to expect anyone, everyone to grow some kind of conscious from spending time with a Teacher. To realize how things are set up between us and the planet needs a lot of work, because it’s dysfunctional. That a big part of being able to fix that involves trying to do something a little different. To live a little different. Each one of us, personally.
And that extends to what we put in our mouths. Okay so maybe that might be a bit much to ask. But to ask for some constructive debate to occur around the subject, the subject of what you might want to achieve using a Teacher Plant to start with and if that involves anything to do with growth, development, becoming a better person, then learning about the consequences of your actions is imperative. Knowing that your existence impacts on the existence of everything around you is key. That there is a choice to be made about whether you continue to live in a bubble of denial and narcissistic selfishness, reckless, relentless, self gratuitous abandon or whether you start trying to live more harmoniously. With a little moderation. Balance.
It seems impossible to have that conversation even somewhere you expect it was possible to occur. Instead the conversation includes the spiteful, resentful, insensitive, ignorant remarks typical of having it anywhere else. People that think it’s natural, it’s normal for things to work the way that they do. Who pretty much just want to carry on sticking their heads in the sand and shoveling sh!t in their faces. And insist that everyone else should be doing exactly the same. People who feel like it’s their duty to interfere and insist that wrong is right, that right is wrong, that yes it is, that no it isn’t and when eventually they realize they are cornered with the truth resort to lashing out at the messenger. Your message sucks because you suck. It’s embarrassing. These people take strong medicine? Then why the hell isn’t it working.