Part One; Sep ’15 to Nov ’15 (Spring).
24 entries of finding my feet. We go on a short holiday and I try liken the experience to a rite of passage, a descent of sorts into a type of underworld. The comparison is a sort of flop, but I guess does establish a theme.
During this part there’s a few dreams thrown into the mix, I decide a bit further down the line to separate the dreams out ~ create a separate menu for them going forward.
I touch on a few symbols, react with some enthusiasm to a book I read, express a few wordy opinions, get into a bit of history involving my psychedelic drug use and introduce my family.
[Sep. 25th, 2015]
The beginning of spring, a new start to this thing, a new year of resolutions.
Dreams and Drugs.
[Sep. 26th, 2015]
In keeping with the new beginnings theme I play around with the idea of resuming my work with the teacher plants in anticipation of an upcoming road trip, and write about a dream I had.
[Sep. 26th, 2015]
A bit more about the upcoming road trip; wondering whether it’s going to be significant, wondering whether it’s going to be significant because of my mother and her failing health. I bring the Tarot into it a bit, something I’m trying to start learning about. Some dreams, one of them the first of a couple I’ve had recently that involve a black man.
[Sep. 27th, 2015]
Thoughts about signs that surround an experience that might make it feel more authentic, more authentically significant. Drawing a parallel between the upcoming road trip and an auspicious experience we had travelling somewhere else once some time ago.
On the Road Again.
[Sep. 28th, 2015]
We hit the road to Hermanus and stay overnight at a place called Dana Bay, just outside Mossel Bay. Mostly I write out some dreams I had around that time, of the trip I mostly just write about feeling despondent because of how sick my mother seems to be.
Complicated and Confusing.
[Oct. 1st, 2015]
Another dream and I get a bit into what being on the road is like, what it’s been like getting to our destination (Montagu / Hermanus).
[Oct. 2nd, 2015]
More about what it’s been like getting to our destination, trying to reconcile the conflict with whatever else it is we are trying to achieve by doing this – spending quality time with my mother while she’s still around.
Daydream / Fantasy.
[Oct. 4th, 2015]
Reflecting a bit on the trip we just took, and fantasizing about going back to open a coffee shop and live out there some day.
‘Ayahuasca’ by Joan Parisi Wilcox.
[Oct. 11th, 2015]
Another dream involving a black man. And maybe to take my mind off recent events I pick up a book to read and then write about how I feel about it, or, about how I feel in general…
The Sound of Love.
[Oct. 12th, 2015]
Sort of a continuation of the previous entry, more incessant rambling brought about by reading a book. Some self-reflection, a rude awakening, and a reminder to keep my wits about me.
Red, Blue and Green Dreams.
[Oct. 14th, 2015]
Two more dreams that feature the appearance of a black guy. A couple more involving Goldilocks and a chameleon that shape shifts into a praying mantis.
Psytrance Parties; a Meditation.
[Oct. 18th, 2015]
We visit with some friends and family and get into the subject of meditation, I try explain how going to a trance party can be used to help with your practice, and whether actually if there’s any point to doing meditation without ever really putting it to the test.
Meditation vs Psychedelics.
[Oct. 19th, 2015]
Inevitably the issue of using psychedelics as a shortcut to spirituality as opposed to using meditation is brought up which sparks off a bit of a lengthy one sided debate, I spell out what my stand is and what my plans are.
[Oct. 20th, 2015]
Another idea floats to the surface that might help us earn some money a bit further down the line, something we can do that makes us feel like we are doing something valuable, being of service in some way.
[Oct. 25th, 2015]
I think the word I was looking for was derealization, not sure. I try to wrap up where my head is at about ‘that book’ and get pedantic about what my motivations are involving the teacher plant thing.
[Oct. 28th, 2015]
I spend some time thinking about an image that came to mind involving a snake that is swallowing its own tail.
Life After Death.
[Oct. 22nd, 2014]
This one goes back a bit, to about a year ago. I thought it would fit in here quite well; it’s sort of a continuation or an elaboration on the Ouroboros theme. It also fleshes out my life situation a bit and some of the relationships I have with various people.
[***. ****, 2015]
Still needing to type this out, but when it’s done it goes here.
[***. ****, 2015]
Same as above.
You Are what You Eat.
[Nov. 16th, 2015]
I step outside of myself and try to understand a couple of things, try to see them as an unfolding sequence of inevitable events that the mind itself has little control over. Try to identify at least one of the things that our destiny is at the mercy of; our food. I realize that working with teacher plants is just an extension of this principle. Entry includes some text from something Terence McKenna wrote, and some external links to pages written about him.
[Jul. 7th, 2014]
Another one that goes back quite a bit, to about just over a year ago. Again it seems like as good a place as any to squeeze it in. It also speaks a little to some of the theme of a previous entry, both of which were inspired by conversations I’d had with B.
[Nov. 19th, 2015]
Mostly a bit more of the same, touching on the stuff covered in the last two entries or so. I write N! an email but never sent it, sort of a hello this is who I am thing, give him a bit of my background.
[May. 11th, 2006]
Sort of an extension of the previous entry; in it I mention the time I met N!. This entry which goes back ten years covers the meeting in more detail. It wasn’t a very flattering experience and it makes me wonder about trying to seek this guy out again. But I’m thinking some of that might have to do more with my hang-ups than it had to do with him.
[Nov. 20th, 2015]
I spend some time thinking about “The World” Tarot trump and draw a parallel or two with it’s symbolism and what is going on in my life at the moment. There is a bit of a summation of previous entries that involve how reality felt while being under the influence of Teacher Plants. I end off introducing my older sister (T!) and her husband (R!) and how they plan to move down here.