You Are what You Eat.

It started at various points. Some of it had to do with our fight. I guess maybe coming up with some kind of pathetic excuse involving me not being to blame for behaving in such an atrocious way. So a better start to this might be I still feel terrible about my behavior and mostly like I’m walking around in underwear that I took a shit in. It’s out of sight but painfully real, painfully still there. Parallel to that I have thoughts floating around that involve trying to put myself outside of it all and try tap more into the story of it or something, to not identify personally with it too much, that would be more or less where the teacher plant thoughts thing ended up before all this drama happened involving B and me.

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Adam and Eve.
@; “At the Museum School, Alex met his life-long partner, the artist, Allyson Rymland Grey. At their meeting in 1975, an entheogenically induced mystical experience transformed his agnostic existentialism to a radical transcendentalism. The Grey couple continued to take “sacramental journeys” on LSD. For five years, Alex worked in the Anatomy department at Harvard Medical School preparing cadavers for dissection while he studied the body on his own. He later worked for Dr. Herbert Benson and Dr. Joan Borysenko as a research technologist at Harvard’s department of Mind/Body Medicine, conducting scientific experiments to investigate subtle healing energies. Alex’s anatomical training prepared him for painting the Sacred Mirrors (see below) and for working as a medical illustrator. Doctors at Harvard saw images of his Sacred Mirrors, and hired Alex for illustration work.”

At that point it seemed to be an idea that exclusively involved teacher plants. More recently I realized it was the same space I was aiming for when it came to reconciling how I felt about meat while being a vegetarian, and how I felt about it looking like the planet was being flushed down the toilet. And now how it feels like the space I’m trying to aim for to help make some sense of the fight I just had with B. I brought up an impression I got during that moment of the Tarot card The Devil, and now there’s that expression involving the Devil being in the detail. So here’s a bunch of words involving how because it is the Devil that is in the detail, the detail might best be avoided. And here’s a bunch of words that explain if it’s not the detail that attention gets paid to what else it is that is better, more worth it, to pay attention to.

Myth? Symbols? Something. But for now getting back to what it was that I was thinking. You are what you eat. Another point it might have started at. Going back to the beginning of that damn stupid fight; we went to that place we didn’t want to go to, the one that’s just out of town and my sister works sometimes at (might need to come up with a name for that place if it needs to be kept getting mentioned). We were sitting there and everyone was all over the place conversation wise, some of it obviously involving the excitement of recent developments, but some of it also involving something else. It got so I had to even make a scene involving feeling overwhelmed and asking if I was the only person in the world who when fifteen people speak, hears fifteen people speak. I wanted to force everyone to use a talking stick, except it wasn’t a stick it was a straw that had come with a coke. A coke that my mother ordered. A coke.

I got to wondering about how much of that experience involved speaking to the people that were involved and how much of that experience involved speaking to the products that they were under the influence of. Was I speaking to them if what they were was something that they had (eaten)? Was I speaking to mom or was I speaking to sugar and nicotine? Was I speaking to G***** or was I speaking to sugar and alcohol? Was I speaking to T**** or was I speaking to caffeine and nicotine? I wondered if it had been a table of people who did not have these things in their bodies whether it would have been just as overwhelming an experience (for someone that didn’t have these things in their body). It made me wonder just how much of a person you are dealing with is a person and how much of a person you are dealing with is actually this or that product.

And then I got to thinking about the teacher plants and the shaman (Note; I use the word shaman / shamanism quite loosely, there are better more accurate words to use but I’m going to stick to those words for now just to keep things simple.). I was saying a bit back how excited I was about an idea B came up with involving massage therapy, and how that idea seemed a more appropriate model in our environment to work with people in a healing context than what model is associated with shamanism which is normally used in a very different type of environment. I struggled with that for a bit. And I struggled with the idea of using teacher plants when I realized there was no real reason for me to use them, I mean on the surface of it I have everything I want, I have everything I need, life is good, everything is perfect. So perfect it seems a little unusual. Almost like being in a pretty picture. And it doesn’t feel like it’s gotten that way from putting very much effort into it, at least not recently anyway.

And I wonder about that.

About whether it’s gotten that way for some other reason, not from me putting any effort into getting it like that. Whether the effort came from somewhere else and if so where else can the effort have come from? What else could be driving this? But getting back to the shaman thing and the teacher plant thing. And how recently J**** wrote about an experience he had holding a ceremony. How he had been singing icaros that he had been taught but had gotten into a space where the icaros were pretty much singing themselves (while he was under the influence). Words that he was unfamiliar with, that were in a foreign language came out of him. And how I remember now, how the shaman thing makes sense, how the teacher plants thing makes sense. The shaman isn’t a person, he’s a vessel, and the teacher plants speak through him, lets the teacher plant act through him.

PsypressUK 2013.
@ ‘Entheogens of Antiquity: The Golden Apples of Immortality by Scott Teitsworth’; “Enthusiasm is exactly the right word here. Enthuse is a corruption of en theos, meaning the god within. Entheogens, or psychedelics, reconnect us with our inner divinity, and enthusiasm is the indicator of being alive to its presence. One of the greatest benefits of entheogens is that they reawaken the enthusiasm that tends to be stamped out in the process of growing up and becoming socialized. They are an antidote to the mind-numbing conformity that ejects us from paradise and tacks a ‘closed’ sign on the gate.”

In essence he just becomes what he eats.

Part of the groundwork of becoming a shaman even involves something called a dieta. When he pretty much fasts for a period of time and then during some of that time eats or drinks a tea made from a specific plant associated with a specific characteristic, a particular property, a particular energy. A particular spirit. The idea being that he gets introduced to the spirit of that plant, and is influenced in some permanent or ongoing way from entering into a relationship with it. So there’s a bunch of words now involving comfort levels of consciously allowing yourself to be a vessel for the spirit or energy of a plant, in essence allowing yourself to be possessed, or something similar sounding.

And that makes me think of how it happens all the time anyway, that just because it’s by the spirit or the energy of what constitutes our daily eating habits and these products being common place doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Is doing it consciously to achieve something other than getting sick like what happens to us eating the stuff we eat and drink everyday all that much different? Is it all that much different really? And a bunch of words now that involve the intentions of a teacher plant or whatever it is that comes through whilst under the influence, some thoughts about some of the words that get thrown around when the subject of psychedelics comes up. Words like trance and ego death, and the idea of there being a dialogue that occurs while under the influence.

In fact it’s some thoughts around that subject I’m sure I’ve seen written by Terence McKenna that I was scratching around for that is another point that started all this off. I was looking around for advice on how to process what comes up, what comes out of such a dialogue, something that advised you to process it with a pinch of salt. But now I wonder if you actually get into this stuff from a perspective of acting as a vessel then wouldn’t any reaction on your part be interference? Indicate a reluctance to let go completely, insist on retaining an ego? All I know is if using teacher plants is about being able to do this, if this is what shamanism is then it’s very interesting, it’s something I could get into, it wouldn’t have worked out for me very well if it was all about tradition, culture, heritage, mimicry.

And now I wonder if part of this involves acknowledging the plants you work with having an intelligence, having an intention, how much of my situation, my path, my direction, my destiny, have to do with me? How much more of it might have to do with it? And of course I don’t mean just me by that. I mean anyone that is being called to do this work. And here a bunch of words that involve an apparent underlying intelligence, something driving this thing, some sort of force that is bringing this stuff to the fore, something responsible for the resurgence of it, the popularization of it. The spread of it. And here a bunch of words about the nature of consciousness, and whether it’s possible for plants to have that, whether it’s possible for the planet to have that.

And whether the plants, whether the planet is mobilizing because of a threat, a threat that we pose to it. And how it is mobilizing involves reaching out to receptive vessels, people of a particular inclination, people that it knows it can use, or people that sympathize with it’s predicament (see Frontiers of Psychedelic Consciousness by David Jay Brown). Reaching out to them and forging ties, building relationships, networking, making itself known, communicating with an ever increasing number of people, doing it to the point that the numbers become significant, and their influence start to get felt, have a noticeable effect. What does that look like, is that what happens? Is that the direction one inevitably goes in when they get involved with this stuff? Are these things one needs to be weary of? Is there a point at which if you do things get uncomfortable? Can you be misled? Could you become delusional?

And here a bunch of words about that, and how the discomfort and delusion are a very real possibility, but only because we live in a world that has certain expectations, and one of them is that you don’t go down a road like this, a rabbit hole like this, you don’t go around telling people you hear the voice of a plant, you hear the voice of the planet, and that what it is saying is we got it all wrong, and that everything about everything that we do, that involves us is all wrong. That our life involves all life, that we’ve become conveniently deaf to what the rest of life has to say, that to save it all, to save ourselves we need to learn to listen, and enter into a dialogue with everything. Of course that person who carries that torch is delusional. So this seems to be the question, or the answer – are you comfortable with this possibility, are you comfortable with losing yourself, are you comfortable enough to trust this?

Salvia Divinorum ~ Spinach Rolled.

A big part of where the above comes from involves doing my favorite thing – being out and about and talking with B over a bite to eat. Another conversation I had with her which was sort of about the same stuff gets covered in In Tension, an entry I made over a year ago and gets linked here. Also sort of in line with some of the above what follows are some words that Terence McKenna included in his Foreword to “Psilocybin Magic Mushroom Grower’s Guide”; (mostly copied from;

“It is the emergence of an I-Thou relationship between the person taking the psilocybin and the mental state it evokes. Jung calls this “transference” and it was a necessary condition of early and primitive humanity’s relationship to its gods and demons. The mushroom speaks, and our opinions rest upon what it tells eloquently of itself in the cool night of the mind.

“I am old, older than thought in your species, which is itself fifty times older than your history. Though I have been on earth for ages I am from the stars. My home is no one planet, for many worlds scattered through the shining disc of the galaxy have conditions which allow my spores an opportunity for life. The mushroom which you see is the part of my body given to sex thrills and sun bathing, my true body is a fine network of fibers growing through the soil. These networks may cover acres and may have far more connections that the number in a human brain. My mycelial network is nearly immortal, only the sudden toxification of a planet or the explosion of its parent star can wipe me out. By means impossible to explain because of certain misconceptions in your model of reality all my mycelial networks in the galaxy are in hyperlight communication across space and time. The mycelial body is as fragile as a spider’s web but the collective hypermind and memory is a vast historical archive of the career of evolving intelligence on many worlds in our spiral star swarm.

Space, you see, is a vast ocean to those hardy life forms that have the ability to reproduce from spores, for spores are covered with the hardest organic substance known. Across the aeons of time and space drift many spore-forming life-forms in suspended animation for millions of years until contact is made with a suitable environment. Few such species are minded, only myself and my recently evolved near relatives have achieved the hyper-communication mode and memory capacity that makes us leading members in the community of galactic intelligence. How the hypercommunication mode operates is a secret which will not be lightly given to man. But the means should be obvious: it is the occurrence of psilocybin and psilocin in the biosynthetic pathways of my living body that opens for me and my symbiots the vision screens to many worlds. You as an individual and man as a species are on the brink of the formation of a symbiotic relationship with my genetic material that will eventually carry humanity and earth into the galactic mainstream of the higher civilizations.

Since it is not easy for you to recognize other varieties of intelligence around you, your most advanced theories of politics and society have advanced only as far as the notion of collectivism. But beyond the cohesion of the members of a species into a single social organism there lie richer and even more baroque evolutionary possibilities. Symbiosis is one of these. Symbiosis is a relation of mutual dependence and positive benefits for both of the species involved. Symbiotic relationships between myself and civilized forms of higher animals have been established many times and in many places throughout the long ages of my development. These relationships have been mutually useful; within my memory is the knowledge of hyperlight drive ships and how to build them. I will trade this knowledge for a free ticket to new worlds around suns younger and more stable than your own. To secure an eternal existence down the long river of cosmic time I again and again offer this agreement to higher beings and thereby have spread throughout the galaxy over the long millennia. A mycelial network has no organs to move the world, no hands; but higher animals with manipulative abilities can become partners with the star knowledge within me and if they act in good faith, return both themselves and their humble mushroom teacher to the million worlds all citizens of our starswarm are heir to.””

For more please see;

“Terence McKenna’s Last Trip | WIRED (AUTHOR: ERIK DAVIS).” “In May 1999, the psychedelic bard Terence McKenna returned to his jungle hideaway on Hawaii’s Big Island after six weeks on the road. He was relieved to be home. Since claiming the mantle of Tripster King from Timothy Leary, McKenna has earned his keep as a stand-up shaman on the lecture circuit, regaling groups of psychonauts, seekers, and boho intellectuals with tales involving mushrooms, machine consciousness, and the approaching end of history. Weird stuff, and wonderfully told. But the teller was getting tired of the routine. A recluse at heart, McKenna wanted nothing more than to surf the Web, read, polish up some manuscripts, and enjoy the mellow pace of Hawaii with his new girlfriend, Christy Silness, a kind young woman he had met the year before at an ethnobotanical conference in the Yucatán.”
“TERENCE MCKENNA – PSYCHEDELICS, EVOLUTION & FUN by Patrick Lundborg.” “This speaking voice “in the head” is a phenomena specific to psilocybin, and one reported frequently by mushroom trippers. McKenna referred to it as the Logos, drawing his meaning of that term from the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus. The Logos is a friendly, wise, occasionally impatient teacher, with whom McKenna would carry on many conversations over the years. As he himself remarked, contemporary society would deem this a kind of mental illness, while in another age it would be the mark of a saint. A 1996 study showed a remarkable consistency in the characteristics of this mushroom voice, and the phenomena remains unexplained. McKenna did not concern himself with the how and why of the Logos communication, but focused upon the contents of its dialogue.”
“The Terence McKenna Thing by teafaerie” “These fun facts hit the Internet after Lorenzo Hagerty, who hosts the well-known Psychedelic Salon podcast, played a few clips from a two-day workshop entitled “Terence McKenna: Beyond 2012” that he and scientist/designer Bruce Damer had facilitated at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California in June 2012. In one of those clips Damer reads some sneak preview excerpts from Dennis McKenna’s much anticipated book, The Brotherhood of the Screaming Abyss, in which Dennis spills the beans about Terence’s decade-long abstinence and talks a bit about the self-doubt and existential angst that apparently haunted at least the last few years of his late brother’s unusual career.”
(True Hallucinations & The Invisible Landscape). An index of downloadable books (.pdf format), including two books by Terence McKenna. Here’s some text from True Hallucinations;
“Dave was something else. We called him “the flower child.” He was a delight-provoking, paradoxical amalgam of naivete and strong-willed insight. If they sold harlequin suits off the rack he would have worn one. A Polish count, Ambassador to the Court of Great Elizabeth and friend of my personal idol, Dr. John Dee, brightened his genealogy. I had met Dave during the summer of 1967 in Berkeley. We had both been hitchhiking from the corner of Ashby and Telegraph, and when one kind soul picked both of us up, we became acquainted on the ride over the bridge to San Francisco. In Berkeley, Dave supported himself selling the Berkeley Barb and whatever else you sell when you loiter a lot. Since those days, Dave had graduated, both from the upstate New York commune he idealized and from Syracuse University with a degree in ethnobotany. In letters that passed between us when I was in Benares he became determined to be part of the venture to the Amazon Basin. He was to find in the jungles and mountains of South America a world even more spellbinding than he expected. To this day he has not returned from our initial voyage.
It was nearly two years”

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