Sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable, mostly all the time but especially when I look around and see what it looks like the world is doing to itself. What it looks like we are doing to it. It’s not very pretty. But I like to think I try to understand; try to think that somewhere somehow what’s going on makes sense, as senseless and stupid as it all is. And try to get out of that space that involves pointing fingers and accusing everything outside of me as the cause of it all. And along comes this symbol, that snake that eats its tail. And I can see it, how that thing that underlies all life is a force, an energy, a pattern that extends over a vast period of time and, that it’s only possible for it to exist if it does swallow its own tail and, how that looks on the surface, on this level, at the level that exists as a consequence of it (the force), how it looks is painful, it looks like we eat each other, everything eats everything.
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|It’s easy to get caught up in the misery of it, the great injustice of it, when one form of life is tread underfoot to feed another, another form of life is wiped out or used to further the cause of another. And that’s the crux of it. Has been for a long while now, has been from the beginning – we are here now only because of it, because it works that way, there can be no room for tears, it cannot work any other way. The problem starts when we personalize it, emphasis the individual, the unique. Put the surface level stuff on a pedestal. It is what it is, just the surface level. To think that what you see happening on the surface level doesn’t make sense is to have doubts about the force that behind all of it, the force that all of it is just a consequence of.
Still, the detail is mesmerizing, hypnotic, very, very convincing. It’s easy to get caught up in it, entangled. And it’s so hard to keep that image in mind, that macroscopic impression of life on planet earth that’s danced with itself since the dawn of time and take comfort in the majesty of it, take comfort in how perfect and complete it is, how self contained and simple. An image of the Ouroboros comes to mind and it’s not made up of anything except every living thing, every living organism, a giant collage of raw meat eating itself, it’s revolting but at the same time I’m in awe of the singular intelligence that drives it, startled to realize it knows what it needs to do, is doing what it needs to do, it’s objective is too big, too important to hesitate, to second guess itself or be squeamish at the gory act that it is.
I scratch around a bit and in some decks of the Tarot the The World, card number 21, the (final?) Major Trump shows a woman (The Fool) encircled by an Ouroboros instead of a Laurel Wreath. I wonder about the similarity between this image and the image of Eve in the Garden of Eden being offered something by a serpent. I learn that the Ouroboros first makes an appearance in Egyptian Mythology. I’m looking for a tattoo and find an Aztec version of an Ouroboros quite attractive. The same image appears on the cover of a book called THE MAYAN Ouroboros – The Cosmic Cycles Come Full Circle by DRUNVALO MELCHIzEDEK. The image is of a feathered serpent god called Quetzlcoatl. I take the dog for a walk recently and pass a Cape Cobra (a type of snake) along the way, the second time I’ve seen it in about a year. The first time I bumped into it was about a year ago, when Uncle H**** and his family came for a visit.
Around about here is a good point to put an entry I did about a year ago called Life After Death. It’s sort of a continuation or an elaboration on the Ouroboros theme. It also fleshes out my life situation a bit and some of the relationships I have with various people.