Part Five.

Part Five; Jul ’17 to Oct ’17 (Winter). Of course a lot of Part Five involves mom moving from someone who got diagnosed with cancer to the point that it actually gets around to killing her. A lot of people come into the picture to spend time with mom and them being around has an […]

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Overactive Imagination.

“Mostly I don’t feel anything”. Well. That’s not entirely accurate. Sometimes I don’t feel anything. Sometimes I feel relief that she’s not around anymore; going through what she was going through. It couldn’t have been nice for her to be going through that. It wasn’t nice going through not knowing how to help her get […]

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Do I Want To Know?

On Sunday G@ let us know mom had slipped into some sort of semi-coma. That night, Monday morning around 2am, she passed away. I’d been working in the garden and decided not to spend any time with her, so the last time I saw her was a few days ago. Even then things didn’t seem […]

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Scuppered.

It’s a fantastic Sunday morning when PiE spends a bit of time in the garden. It feels like an amazing time to be alive, an awesome time of the year to be experiencing. It’s September and you can feel the death grip that winter had on the earth start to loosen. It’s rained a couple […]

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A Slow, Gradual, Decline.

Three weeks later. A lot has happened. Nothing has happened. It occurs to me I might have made B sound like a bit of a bad guy in all this and that’s a little unfair. Very unfair. A lot of the rift between us about stuff could probably just be boiled down to a communication […]

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Remorse and Regret.

“The drama this time at least didn’t escalate until the only solution that remained was divorce”. “This time she’s made more of an effort to not let it get so dramatic”. Maybe it was a bit premature to expect things to end there. Maybe they did end there that time. Maybe anything that came up […]

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Flickering Precariously.

Give it some room. Let It Breathe. Tried to come back to it with fresh eyes. That’s one way to see it. Another way to see it involves the machinery. The machinery of this whole thing slowing down, grinding to a halt. Nothing to say about something that stopped. Sort of like what seems to […]

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Hurt People Hurt.

On stuff that gets stirred up after brief encounters with this or that person. It hasn’t taken very long of having G@ around for things to get complicated. I’m not sure I’ve touched on how things get sometimes involving B and her feelings because of G@ being a little insensitive. Insensitive or whatever you would […]

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Brief Encounters.

About how stuff works that doesn’t involve the physical. And the more entheogenic ideas. And about not being able to claim any victories. The part I left out involves how stupid I feel about that. About how having said anything at all about that I feel like a complete idiot. And maybe if anyone is […]

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Evil Even.

Pen has almost run out of ink. Faithful Pen. Trusted Friend. Can I claim a victory? Yes? No? Maybe? Almost? For the longest while I was leaning towards no. Still am. Well. It’s 03h20 and this is the thing about dreams. Part of what makes it tricky to do that work, the part that involves […]

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